Bruised knees

The only way to describe how I’m feeling right now is to use a rather long-winded metaphor. Stick with me.

I feel as if I’m standing on a long piece of material. A really long never-ending piece of material. And this fabric is beautiful. It’s covered in patterns and colours and sequins and embroidery which tell rich stories. But this fabric is moving very fast, and I’m running. I’m running to keep up. I’m trying to absorb the beauty but I can’t. It’s moving too quickly. I’m running so fast that I keep falling, which probably explains the bruised appearance of my legs.

Essentially, I feel as if I’m missing life. And I know that I’m in life, but I’m scared. Life is moving too quickly.

This feeling probably has something to do with my 21st birthday. Late in August I reached the ripe old age of 21. And I’m shit scared. I’ve got friends getting married, buying houses, moving in with partners, and graduating university. I’m in the middle of what is often considered a pointless university degree that’s not challenging me, I’ve got no real connections, and I’m pretty much broke. Oops.

After a week of feeling unsure, a friend sent me this video. It is extracted from David Foster Wallace’ book, ‘This is water’. Now I’ve seen it numerous times, and I own the book. IT IS AMAZING! It should be watched as a compulsory task to fulfil any humanly duties. Please watch, consider, and share. And remember, this is water.

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